Bitterness: The Root That Destroys

I recently read about a woman who was extremely bitter. She had been bitten by a raccoon that had rabies. After seeing a doctor, tests confirmed that she had contracted rabies. She calmly took out a notebook and began writing down names. The doctor, curious, asked if she was making a will. She replied, “No, I’m making a list of all the people I’m going to bite!”

Bitterness can be a very real issue in many of our lives. It remains one of the greatest problems in the church today. It is deeply destructive—capable of ruining our testimony for Christ and damaging our relationships with others.

What is bitterness? The dictionary defines it as “having a sharp, pungent taste or smell” or “something causing pain or unhappiness.” In life, it’s the feeling of hurt, resentment, anger, and even hatred. It can be directed toward other people—and even toward God.

In Hebrews 12:1, we are told to “lay aside every weight that so easily ensnares us.” I believe bitterness is one of those weights. Later in that chapter, we read:

“Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Heb. 12:15).

This instruction is significant. The phrase “looking carefully” comes from the same root word that Peter uses in 1 Peter 5:2 to “oversee” the flock. This emphasizes the need for shepherd-like care among the people of God.

I’ve called bitterness a weight, but in Hebrews, it’s also called a root. How does this root take hold in our hearts? Before a root can grow, a seed must be planted. That seed is usually an experience—something someone did to us—that we choose to harbor and hold onto. In Hebrews, bitterness is connected with turning away from God. This idea is also found in Deuteronomy 29:17–19, and according to Romans 3:14, bitterness is characteristic of an unbeliever.

So, when we harbor bitterness, we’re actually behaving like the unsaved. That’s why Ephesians 4:31–32 exhorts us:

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Sometimes our bitterness stems from our own disobedience, as in Ruth 1:20, where Naomi became bitter after leaving the land during a famine rather than trusting God. She became so overwhelmed that she even wanted to change her name to Mara, which means bitterness.

But often, bitterness takes root because we refuse to forgive. We are repeatedly instructed to forgive, yet bitterness is allowed to grow when we choose not to. Bitterness says, I have a right to be angry, but that denies the truth of Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” Bitterness clings to the details of our hurt. It’s like drinking poison and hoping someone else dies.

Bitterness Will…

Devastate you spiritually.
It robs you of joy and fellowship with God, causing discontentment. We must heed the lesson of Acts 8:22–23: bitterness is a tool of Satan.

Destroy you physically.
It drains peace of mind and can lead to depression. It contributes to stress, high blood pressure, ulcers, sleeplessness, and even a sarcastic or sharp tongue. It makes us critical and negative. As someone once said: “Not every sick person is bitter, but every bitter person is sick.”

Discourage you emotionally.
It can put you on an emotional roller coaster, full of ups and downs.

Divide friendships and harm church fellowship.
Returning to Hebrews 12:15, the verse says:

“Lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble…”
That word trouble means “to crowd upon.” In other words, bitterness overflows and affects others.

Defile those around you.
The verse continues:

“…and by this many become defiled.”
1 Corinthians 5:6 reminds us, “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” Bitterness is contagious. That’s why Paul writes:
“…bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Deprive you of a blessing and being a blessing to others.
Bitterness is not the result of what someone did to you—it’s the result of what you chose to do with the offense. Look at James 3:13–14:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth.”

So how do we deal with bitterness?

We have three options:

1. Keep it inside, where it will eat away at us like a cancer.
2. Let it out, making everyone around us miserable.
3. Dig it up!

I once read that after the Civil War, Robert E. Lee visited a woman in Kentucky who showed him a damaged old tree, bitterly lamenting how Union artillery had destroyed it. She expected sympathy. After a pause, Lee simply said, “Cut it down, my dear madam, and forget it.”

Bitterness must be uprooted—not just trimmed. I’ve read that a dandelion can have roots as deep as ten feet. So how do we dig up bitterness?

Let me suggest six steps from 1 John 1:8–10, and conclude with a biblical picture.

1. Recognize your bitterness.
2. Realize that it’s your problem, not the offender’s.
3. Regard it as sin.
4. Repent of it.
5. Receive forgiveness.
6. Rejoice in your Advocate.

We see a picture of this in Exodus 15:22–27. The Israelites had been delivered from bondage and were traveling for three days. Back in Exodus 3:18 and 8:27, God said they were to go three days into the wilderness to sacrifice. But their circumstances drove all thoughts of worship from their minds—just as ours often do.

They soon began complaining against Moses. But bitterness cannot quench our thirst, and complaining changes nothing. We learn here that bitter experiences can be a test (v.25), for our teaching (v.26), and are often temporary (v.27).

Bitterness overwhelmed them, and Moses cried out to the Lord. That is the first step: cry out when the pain runs deep. God then showed Moses a tree. There is no biblical evidence that this tree had any special properties. But I believe the application is clear: Moses cast it into the water, and the waters were made sweet.

Only at the cross of Calvary—the tree—can our bitterness be removed. It is at the cross where we learn that we died with Christ, that our old self was crucified, and that Christ now lives in us (Romans 6:6, Galatians 2:20). The victory over bitterness is found there.

But notice—they didn’t stay at Marah. They moved on to Elim, which means “mighty ones.” If we want to be mighty for Christ, we must move forward and enjoy the provisions God has for us: the refreshing water of His Word and the shade of His care.

Let’s move forward, keeping in mind Colossians 3:1–4:

“If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.”

This is the place of rest the Lord offers us. The enemy wants to keep us bitter. The Lord invites us into blessing.
Which will it be: bitterness or blessing?